Larry Hnetka Goes HMmmm

I read Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, a few months ago.

One of the interesting concepts he presents is that of the “pain body.”

In his view, the “pain-body” is the emotional component of ego; it is created by the cumulation of suppressed emotions, the suffering of non-acceptance of what is.

Oh, oh, I thought. Don’t all of us have an ego at some level or other? Some people handle ego easily; others become egomaniacs, constantly seeking approval at whatever cost.

I don’t think I go about my day to day routine expecting anything other than respect from others just as I respect them. However, I know one of my recurring patterns is that I give of myself too freely and without expecting anything in return. The sad fact is I do expect something in return — even if that is only a sincere thank you.

Today, my pain-body has taken hold with ferocious intensity. I re-read the pain-body section in his book. Intellectually I understand why my pain-body is eagerly making me despondent. I am angry at myself for feeling unappreciated.

It was when I stumbled upon Tolle’s explanation of “wanting” that the light bulb went on for me.

In his view, all wanting implies that the future is more desirable than the present. As long as you want something, you are seeking to reach some point in the future that promises fulfillment.

Thereby you are making the present moment as well as the other persons into a means to an end. You don’t need future or future lives to find yourself, and you need to add nothing to you to find yourself.

I had fallen into my old pattern of not only relying but expecting others to make me feel appreciated. It’s a hard lesson for me to integrate. On the other hand I can continue to feed my pain-body and feel miserable or I can be in the present moment, fully aware of my own value without any expectations of others validating me.

I am in the moment and it feels good.

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