How I kill every night
Man is supposed to be the hunter, isn’t he? When does one cross the line between being a hunter and a killer?
This is my current dilemma. My housemate Kenneth was away for a few weeks. Before he left he ceremoniously handed me the “fondue fork.”
I cringed at the sight of that fork. I adamantly said I wouldn’t take up the fork no matter what.
The second day he was gone, I noticed my dahlias were being eaten right before my eyes.
That night, I took my flashlight, put on my latex gloves and with the fondue fork in hand, I went hunting.
The first kill was the hardest. After that the killing became like an obsession. I started looking forward to the evening when I could prowl the garden with my fondue fork and start killing.
My prey: slugs. But not just any slug. My garden seems to attract those large, six inch slimy slugs.
Who cares a whit if they are hermaphrodites. So what that they macerate food using their radula, a rough, tongue-like organ with many tiny tooth-like denticles. Even if a commonly seen practice among many slugs is apophallation, when one or both of the slugs chew off the other’s penis, who cares?
I want these gastropod mollusks without shells to leave my garden plants alone. Take the neighbour’s plants. Go to the South of France. I don’t care. Just stay away from my garden.
Oh yes, there are all types of chemical slug baits on the market as well as organic products. There is the beer in the cup method but I found those big suckers climbing in, taking a swig and climbing out to eat in a drunken stupor.
Dusk has fallen already. Soon it will be dark. I know the fondue fork is in the garden shed. My flashlight batteries are new. Another round of killing will begin soon.
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July 13th, 2007 at 10:34:21 PM
Thats yucky.. SLugs dont seem to be such nice creatures..Hope your garden is back without visitors soon@!
July 15th, 2007 at 5:48:24 AM
Nice way to describe yourself as a “killer”. Very creative in fact. I did experience those yucky slugs in my garden before. Imagine all my priced orchids being eaten up just overnight. Somehow, my Mum did a great job in getting rid of them with her natural method. Until today, somehow they know that my garden is not their territory anymore.
Secret: Crushed Eggshell scattered around. Slugs hate pointed objects which can kill them.
July 19th, 2007 at 6:42:01 AM
SALT!
July 20th, 2007 at 12:48:36 PM
Great images as you prowl the garden jumping on slugs. Maybe you should be less stingy with the beer and leave them a pint in a bigger bucket. And when the slugs are scooped out, I highly recommend the remaining beer for cooking purposes.
btw, because of your anti spam question, my honest dog was unable to leave a comment.
July 20th, 2007 at 8:02:49 PM
thanks for the suggestion — never thought of scooping out the slugs and using the remainder for bbq — splendid idea. BTW sorry about my anti-spam query and your honest dog — that’s sort of pissy isn’t it?
July 22nd, 2007 at 8:54:16 AM
The battle is going on here too. I have tried cheap beer in a container with the lid level with the ground. It works but it’s too costly. Now trying out salt.
July 22nd, 2007 at 8:55:34 AM
sorry for commenting twice. Something unrelated. Don’t you think that the firefox banner below is a bit outdated.
July 22nd, 2007 at 5:11:20 PM
Thanks for the reminder — you know how sometimes you see things a million times and they just don’t register — like poor proofreading LOL.
July 23rd, 2007 at 3:33:05 AM
[IMG larry-hnetka-thumb] The man from Hmmm continues to add humor to the internet with consummate ease. The image of Larrystalking slugsat night with a long fork will live long in the memory. The wheels of MBL Sunday have rusted up slightly, so today, in the interest of efficiency I temporarily vetoed the rule that the bloggers who
November 20th, 2008 at 8:34:37 PM
Great read! very creative writer! i enjoy reading the article.
Albert
http://www.hydroponicswholesale.com/