Larry Hnetka Goes HMmmm

VH1 is proudly trumpeting the April 2 launch of Tori Spelling’s new show cleverly called So NoTORIous.

What can one say of Tori Spelling? Since her entrance on Beverley Hills 90210, I have been entranced by her utter vapidity.

Who can forget the earth shattering news of Tori’s escapades in Toronto while filming some straight-to-video movie of the week? Or those up front and personal photos of Tori’s brand new boob enhancements.

My favourite Tori-moment has to be her admission, as sordid as it may sound, that she did get lost once in her father’s house. The house of so many rooms that dear step-mama Spelling has a room dedicated solely to the long lost art of gift wrapping.

Can you just pictures the shelves with rows and rows of divine wrapping papers, ribbons on spools, decorative bits and pieces carefully catalogued in bins, the custom-made “wrapping table.”

I twitch at the mere thought of one day proudly saying I too have a room for wrapping gifts. I will call it “Le Salon de Wrap” just because I can.

The VH1 advertising bumpf shouts out: “Don’t miss the new hit from an easy target, Tori Spelling! A brand new faux-reality show with style, heart and 90210 references.”

Be still my heart! Not only my hero, the virginal Donna-Tori in a “faux-reality” show but also “references to 90210!”

I’m drinking my imported Evian water I’ve been saving for just such a Tori moment as this.

As for Tori being an “easy target”, Defamer, the L.A. Gossip Rag pins the donkey on the tail.

Click on the before and after Defamer photo of Tori here and draw your own conclusions.

Defamer’s recent articles on Tori’s inimitable way of making humiliation hilarious is only surpassed by their recent headline, Once She Gets That Third Boob Installed On Her Forehead, All Bets Are Off.

I have cleared my entire April 2 evening and will be watching So NoTORIous. And you?

Tori Spelling cartoon from: Caricature Zone

This entry was posted on Friday, March 31st, 2006 at 11:55:25 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.