Doofus-umbrella-dumbuts playing rain-chicken
It’s spring. It rains in Vancouver. These are undeniable facts.
Sometimes the rain is a heavy downpour. Sometimes it is sporadic.
Tamara, the local CTV weather person tells us there are many variations for the degree of rain we receive. It may be a sprinkle, a shower, a misting, or just plain soggy sunshine.
Rain is rain. Umbrellas protect you from the rain. Store awnings protect those who do not have umbrellas from the rain.
Doofus-umbrella-dumbuts (d-u-d-buts) who think awnings are just a second rain protection barrier are low on my list today.
Why do the d–u-d-buts chose to walk under the awnings with an open umbrella? And I know it is a choice.
They see me coming from the opposite direction. I do not have an umbrella in hand. Most often both of my hands clutch a plastic grocery bag.
The d-u-d-buts look you straight in the eye and then pretend they have not seen you — that you are invisible and somehow not in their path. They do not step aside from under the awning.
They simply march ahead and play that wonderful game of rain-chicken to intimidate me. They have never played rain-chicken with such a formidable foe.
I do not waver. I do not step aside into the rain. I walk head held high under the awnings. Rain may drip from the end of my nose from that long interval between awnings but I do not wipe away the rain.
While under an awning, if a d-u-d-but’s umbrella spine comes near my face, I knock it down with my plastic shopping bag full of groceries.
Awnings in rainy Vancouver are not double rain protection for those d-u-d-buts holding an umbrella.
Bring it on d-u-d-but. I’ll play rain-chicken with the best of you any day.
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