Best opening sentence in bad writing contest
A Microsoft analyst has won an annual contest celebrating bad writing by comparing fixing carburetors to fondling a woman’s breasts. GO HERE to read the winning entry.
The California San Jose State University contest challenges entrants to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels and has attracted entries from around the world for 23 years.
It was inspired by 19th century novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who opened his 1830 novel “Paul Clifford” with the now immortal words, “It was a dark and stormy night.” For an on-line version of the novel, Paul Clifford, GO HERE.
“The woods were all a-twitter with rumors that the Seven Dwarves were planning a live reunion after their attempted solo careers had dismally sputtered into Z-list oblivion and it was all just a matter of meeting a ten-page list of outlandish demands (including 700-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets, lots of white lilies and a separate trailer for the magic talking mirror) to get the Princess Formerly Known As Snow White on board.”
This entry, by Shelby Leung of New South Wales, Australia, was so badly written, it won the bad writing contest’s sub-category for children’s literature.
What cartoon character began his book with “It was a dark and stormy night?”
(Click on “Read the rest of this entry” for the answer.)
Answer:
Snoopy of Peanuts fame.
GO HERE to read the Amazon.com title, “It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, Snoopy.”